Konglish is the dialect many Koreans adopt in their efforts to become English. In my conversations about Konglish with other foreign teachers, we realized one important thing. The majority of the world's money is controlled by native English speakers. The combined total of native English speaking countries is more than 350 million people. It seems like the rest of the world tries to speak it as best they can.
Korea is no different. Unfortunately, Koreans have an inept desire to be Western. For about the last forty years or so, there is a major wave of discontent with their own culture. They want to be English and feel inadequate about not being English. As a result, English is a multi-million industry.
As a casual observer of the Korean language, I have sympathy with the problems Koreans have learning English because the syntax is completely different. My limited Korean vocaublary, in addition to my innate attachment to English syntax, provides many laughs to Koreans. However, I think I may laugh at them more than they laugh at me, because hilarious Konglish is everywhere and they don't realize it's funny.
All over, Konglish phrases abound, so that Koreans seem more worldly, mainly to other Koreans, rather than people from other parts of the world. There are so many quasi-English advertisements on buildings, it makes my head spin. It also adds to the confusion of not understanding anything around you because of the language barrier that already exists.
The most common phrase seems to be "hwighting," or, if the sayer can pronounce the /f/ sound, "fighting." This is used by everyone istead of something like "come on!" or"go for it!"
There are also many paragraph length signs in the club districts that read rather hilariously, which I usually stumble upon when slightly inebriated. Then, upon reading the terribly incorrect translation of something likely quite eloquent in Korean, I feel much more intoxicated as a result of being completely bedazzled by what just came before my eyes.
There are several ways this sort of thing arises. People will use the first word in a dictionary rather than the correct word, such as a description commonly found on Korean jeans: "the energy of denim!"
There is also the ones that know the English word through speech, but do not know how to spell the word. These tend to be the most common, and very often quite funny. Such as the /p/ vs. /b/ sound that goes unoticed by English speaking Koreans. A seafood menu I came across once read: "Spaghetti with crap cream sauce. Sounds delicious!" Or the "Crapino" coffee shop There is also the lack of differentiation between the /r/ and /l/ sounds. There is a pretty funny advertisement for "Cigalettes" near city hall that I'm usually tickled by because of the mispelling on such an expensive looking sign.
Then there are the simply clever. There's a restaurant called "Born to Be Chicken" that I'm fond of. And Western style knock-offs like "Foot Rocker."
Here's a few more I'm fond of:
-handepone (cell phone)
-pee shee (computer)
-free size (one size fits all)
-Englishee, Konglishee (they seem to be unable to make consonant sounds without a complete vowel sound attached, so a long /e/ sound is attached to many words. "English" becomes "Englishee," "change" becomes "changey," and so on.
-dejior (desire) -- there is no /z/ sound, so they substitute with a /j/. I first came across this ditty at a Korean bar where a band covered nothing but English songs... "I have only-a one-a burning dejior... let me stand next-a to your-a fire-ey"
-"on sale please give me" (let's barter a bit here)
-"Live and Hof" -bars advertising in two languages.. they must be great! I don't know why they use live, but the german does work well.
- and the kicker of them all: "Ma-guy-ba." "What is a Maguyba" you ask? that's the closest most koreans can come to saying the word "MacGyver." Yes, the TV show from the 80s and early 90s. And what does the Konglishized version of this popular television show mean in this country? why, none other than your everyday, trusty, reliable pocket knife. Maguyba = pocket knife. pure hilarity
An-yong,
"Let's having funny times tonight. Hwighting!"
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
the sounds of insomnia
I'm looking for a little reader participation here on this post. Working in Korea can be difficult on one's sleep pattern, as a fairly standard teaching job at a private school begins at 3 in the afternoon. So I often find myself hanging around a PC bong trying to talk to people back home on the Internet and reading whatever interesting material I can get on the screen. I'm currently quite into one of my favorite albums, De-loused in the Comatorium by The Mars Volta. It's a mindbender of an album, if you're into that sort of thing. I have the last song on repeat right now and its keeping me awake. Here it is:
Take the Veil Cerpin Taxt
You must have been phlegmatic in stature
The gates of Thanos are a spread eagle wide
You let the shutters make sackcloth and ashes
Out of a blind mans picaresque heart
You take the veil
You'll take the dive
You take the veil
It's not over till the tremulant sings
These ides of march
Are they so make believe?
How tempts the revenant
Slice up and not across
You take the veil
You'll take the dive
You take the veil
A mass of gallon sloth
As flies have walls for feet
A rapturous verbatim
-someone said but who is to know
And when you find the fringe
The one last hit that spent you
You'll find the ossuary spilling by the day
The iconoclastic had it coming for years
They know the prisons that you have yet to fear
Where thumbs hide inside of sleepingbag mouths
Ad lib your memoires by casting a drought
You take the veil
You'll take the dive
You take the veil
A mass of gallon sloth
As flies have walls for feet
A rapturous verbatim
-someone said but who is to know
And when you find the fringe
The one last hit that spent you
You'll find the ossuary spilling by the day
Knife me in -hobbling
Talking in it's sleep again
Knife me in-hobbling
Talking in it's sleep again
The one last hit that spent you
And you will find
The greatest fucking lie
Of aneurysm vespers
The ones that pile
Up the greatest fucking lies
Knife me in -hobbling
Talking in it's sleep again
Knife me in -hobbling
Talking in It's sleep again
Virulent hives- of bedpost piles
Virulent hives
Who brought me here?
Forsaken, depraved and wrought with fear
Who turned it off?
The last thing I remember now
Who brought me here?
Forsaken, depraved and wrought with fear
Who turned it off?
The last thing I remember now
Who brought me here?
An absolutely brilliant song in my mind. Very dark and depressing though, eh?
We all have our sleepless nights for whatever reason, and the soundtrack of such nights make one compelling album. My musical taste shifts, depending on the mood I'm in, which is surely similar to many people. So what keeps you up at night?
Thursday, February 22, 2007
steph and I went to a museum of modern art. they only let me take a picture of one thing and it was the tv tower shown below. 50 feet tall, over 20 000 tvs. all of them playing dribble. I think it's meant to show that tv has kind of taken over our lives in a way... but I can't really remember. years of watching tv have left me with only a few second memory. Hey, what are we laughing at? That puppy has a poofy tail!
here's the spam. tis a delicacy here. "Nyarr... I got nothing against ya Spammy, but I hear 'dere be gold inside yer belly"
here's the spam. tis a delicacy here. "Nyarr... I got nothing against ya Spammy, but I hear 'dere be gold inside yer belly"
Be patient. I'm working on the tidbit about konglish, and it should be quite funny to anyone at all experienced in this delicate dialect. should be funny tho others as well. I'll tell y'all about the surprising suicide rates in this country after that and try to explain possible reasons from an outsiders point of view.
Friday, February 16, 2007
solnal
this weekend is korean new year. solnal. 5 days off work. uh thank you.
its a major gift giving ceremony. mr wu gave everyone on his staff a korean delicacy... spam. that's right, spam. a good 10 tins of the stuff and a spam satchel to carry it all in. they're like 60 bucks each for all that spam here. he was shocked when I told him how much the stuff goes for back home.
hilarious pictures of the spam and the little spam men I created to follow.
its a major gift giving ceremony. mr wu gave everyone on his staff a korean delicacy... spam. that's right, spam. a good 10 tins of the stuff and a spam satchel to carry it all in. they're like 60 bucks each for all that spam here. he was shocked when I told him how much the stuff goes for back home.
hilarious pictures of the spam and the little spam men I created to follow.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
lack of blog participation
my fault, my fault.
I haven't been keeping up my end of the blog here other than the pictures. it seems like every time I have a chance to write a blog article, I'm pressed for time and the pressure makes the ideas about what I want to write about slip my mind...
So I made a list:
- suicide in korea
- dogs
- racism
- plastic surgery
- the actual obsession with the west
- the language barrier
- weather
- the korean family
- hockey
- bagpipes
- teaching
I know I've already touched on several of these topics in previous posts, but stay tuned to more in depth comments on all of them in the coming weeks.
I haven't been keeping up my end of the blog here other than the pictures. it seems like every time I have a chance to write a blog article, I'm pressed for time and the pressure makes the ideas about what I want to write about slip my mind...
So I made a list:
- suicide in korea
- dogs
- racism
- plastic surgery
- the actual obsession with the west
- the language barrier
- weather
- the korean family
- hockey
- bagpipes
- teaching
I know I've already touched on several of these topics in previous posts, but stay tuned to more in depth comments on all of them in the coming weeks.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
new new years pics
courtesy of bradstronach.com
three of the boys in mokpo. twas a good reunion indeed. jonny, jordan, stronach.
we are celebrities. they just wanna have their pictures taken with us.
stfx crew. jonny, jordan, stronach, varlo, kelli, heather
noraebong... korea is full of these personalized kareoke rooms. they're not only hilarious, but fun as well.
three of the boys in mokpo. twas a good reunion indeed. jonny, jordan, stronach.
we are celebrities. they just wanna have their pictures taken with us.
stfx crew. jonny, jordan, stronach, varlo, kelli, heather
noraebong... korea is full of these personalized kareoke rooms. they're not only hilarious, but fun as well.Monday, February 05, 2007
xaverian article
Xaverian article. (http://theu.ca/comm/xw/ pg 11)
Thinking about working overseas?
When I graduated last year, it seems like my fellow grads were doing one of four things: a) getting a job; b) going back to school; c) traveling; or d) nothing. I would recommend staying away from the latter, but the first three seem quite popular and productive.
I, being the adventurous type, decided traveling was the best option. Money and school can wait. Likely choices for traveling were backpacking through Europe, driving across America, humanitarianism in Africa, or setting up shop in Australia or New Zealand. And then there’s also the choice of combining traveling and getting a job in another option that is becoming more and more popular: teaching overseas.
There are many non-English speaking countries with ESL (English as a Second Language) schools looking to hire Canadian graduates at just about any month of the year. Considering the cost of living in many of these countries, the pay is quite good. When choosing a country, it really depends on what you’re looking for: South Korea pays much better than the other countries in the region, but Thailand is tropical. There’s also many countries in between that provide a myriad of cultural opportunities. Perhaps you are completely intrigued by the Chinese culture, for instance. Then the best place to find a job would obviously be China. The best place to find job postings, information, and links to such jobs is Dave’s ESL Café, which is updated regularly (www.eslcafe.com).
I picked South Korea. The extra money pays the bills that come with a student loan and its somewhere I’ve always wanted to visit since my grandfather took part in the Korean War.
Finding a job
There are many things to consider when looking for a job overseas, whatever it may be. Labor laws are different everywhere in the world and you are used to the ones in North America. Therefore, DO YOUR RESEARCH. Whenever you decide you want to leave the country for an extended period of time, there will be horror story after horror story coming your way from every relative and friend who knows someone from somewhere who’s done the same thing you want to do and got burned. When it was my time, all of a sudden everyone I knew was an overnight expert on everything there was to know about teaching English in Korea, and knew a ton of people who were either in Korean jail or miserable in a faraway place or whatever. And no doubt, these stories are all true. There are many foreigners in Korean jail and many people who come here and have a terrible time. They are the ones who did not research what they were getting themselves into. Do not accept a job on a whim in a foreign country.
Korea is pushing really hard to become westernized, and so laws here are actually quite similar to the West, The major differences are in customs though. This makes things a lot worse for Koreans working in Korea than for Westerners working in Korea, as wayguks (“foreigners” in Korean) are not expected to know these customs and do not comply to the ones we do not wish to comply to. However, these customs are quite apparent and fairly harsh. For example, for a Korean, your boss owns you. You are his property and you will do whatever it is he tells you. Until he is no longer you boss, anything you create belongs to him. Most bosses are quite lenient with this practice, especially the ones hiring foreigners, but it does exist. There’s also some pleasant customs. For example, it is expected that a boss takes his staff out for dinner and drinks around once a month. As you may have already assumed, I do not comply with the first of these customs, but comply unreservedly with the second. Gambae! (“Cheers!” in Korean).
Be sure to tinker with your C.V. when applying to a teaching job overseas. Break the standard format and go into paragraphed detail if you have any experience working with children or with teaching. Korean employers may have reservations about your time with children otherwise, so highlight your experience.
You also have to send a photo. This may seem a little strange, but it’s a standard practice with ESL jobs. Koreans take appearance much more serious than Canadians do, so send a nice photo, like your grad photo. Don’t send the photo of you shot-gunning in your Halloween costume on Braemore St.
When you get to the phone interview, be as jovial as possible. Almost every student will have a Korean teacher who speaks a bit of English who is handing out assignment after assignment. Schools hire foreign teachers to be fun with the kids. Having foreign teachers on staff makes the schools appear more respectable in the eyes of parents when choosing a school. Your employer wants you to make learning English fun so the students stay at the school, rather than going somewhere else. So if you appear to be a person who won’t have fun with the kids, you won’t get the job.
You will also need to show a high interest level. You should be asking questions about all parts of life in the country, as you will be uprooting. Ask about your living quarters, distance to work, about your coworkers, size of the school, age of children, wages, proximity to subway/major city, etc. You will likely be interviewed by a Korean, so try to talk to a foreign teacher who is not responsible for hiring you after the interview part. This way you can speak to someone without any language problems and speak in a down-to-earth manner about the place.
The most important advice I can give about finding an overseas job: don’t trust anybody. If something seems off, back away from the deal. Koreans feel uncomfortable talking about business. They want to get it out of the way as soon as possible. So they want you to sign right away. The schools in Korea that hire Canadians right out of university, ninety-nine percent of the time, are private schools, and their first intension is making money, education is second. For the most part, the schools treat foreigners very well, but are still very different than dealing with a school that puts education first. The schools in Korea that have education in mind first are the public schools that are free to attend, but the generally don’t hire foreigners with zero teaching experience.
There’s also the issue of recruiters. These folks are usually of the scum-of-the-earth variety who will do anything to make a buck. They are not taking your interests to heart. There are a few goods one out there though. Try and find a Canadian recruiter, perhaps even my pal Kristopher: http://www.asia-pacific-connections.com. He’s a trustworthy guy in a line of work that doesn’t have many of them. Despite their nature, recruiters are the ones who will get you job interviews though, so you be nice to them. There’s also the possibility of applying directly to a school through a classifieds ad on Dave’s ESL Café that I mentioned earlier. I got my job by applying directly and it worked out great: no middle man.
Life in Korea:
Information is available all over the place about Korea. Check out Wikipedia or one of the websites above to find out things about climate, food, history, and such. I’ll try and tell you stuff these websites won’t tell you though.
Korea is cheap, cheap, cheap! The cost of living is ridiculously low compared to home. For example, I eat out almost every meal because it costs the same as making your own food at home. Some of my coworkers go shopping seemingly every weekend and come home with a new wardrobe of clothes. A bottle of Soju (Korean liquor, which is a lot like moonshine, but not as strong) costs less than $2 at corner stores, and you can also buy these in bulk to save money if that price is too high for you. And things like this are the same price everywhere in Korea. Prices are standardized. There’s also no sales tax.
There are incredible shopping districts in Seoul. Huge underground malls that stretch farther than you can imagine, titanic outdoor markets selling everything you could ever dream of, from illegal DVDs to dogs to produce to knick knacks and everything else in between. It’s a lot of fun just walking around looking at these types of things because they seem so strange to me and other foreigners but just so natural to Koreans.
This country is a real mindjob. Many, many strangely curious things go on right in front of you all the time. Here’s just a few:
1. "Video killed the radio/outdoor/athletic star".... Video/Computer games rule all here. They have computer rooms here every block or so, which is like a school computer lab on steroids, and is designed specifically to play games. After consulting with classes, my suspicions were confirmed that they spend every minute of their free time here. This is a way of life over here. There are 3 channels on normal cable dedicated to 24 hour coverage of video game tournaments and leagues. The really good gamers are celebrities here, with their own magazine covers and security details.
2. Made to order doesn’t exist. If you order a meal without something, or want something added, you will deal with the most dumbfounded looks you've ever seen. It is actually impossible to get any ingredient or garnish removed or added to a dish. The simple task of not putting it in as you make it cannot be explained regardless of what language you use.
3. Money and age. A middle aged business man that bumps you out of the way as he steps in line to pay for his butter probably didn't even see you. If you’re not rich or old he gets to go first. There are numerous extra tenses in the Korean language geared around talking to people in a different notch of the social hierarchy. An older man will toss a younger police officer to the ground for being disrespectful, and there isn't really anything the cop will do. I've seen it. If two young friends are a few months apart in age, the older person decides what they will do, what they will eat, who can say what, and pretty much runs the whole show. The young person also has to speak with special polite words and gestures.
4. Clothing. Korean women are out of their minds. Its -6 outside right now, and the girls around me are all wearing huge winter coats, hats, mitts, boots, and a tiny mini skirt..... Also, the skirts are about the size of your average piece of kleenex, and don’t exactly cover the important stuff, but to show your shoulders or upper back in public is blasphemy.
5. Gender roles and marriage. Women are extremely subservient here. As late as the 70's it was still arranged marriages. The man was the sole provider and the woman was the housewife and servant. There was very little marital crossover between the social classes, since the marriage was decided in childhood by the parents. This is still unofficially the way it works here. Many matches are made through business partners or the like, and one of the early questions a Korean girl will ask is what your father does. If you're not married, you're living at home and disgracing your family by not being married. My coworkers are mostly around age 30. The unmarried ones live at home, and usually have 12 oclock curfews.
6. Seasons. At midnight on September 23, summer is over, and fall begins. A friend of mine walked out of his apartment one day in September to a 30 degree breeze in a T-shirt. He quickly noticed that everyone was wearing sweaters and pants. He got to work and found the same was true with the kids and teachers. He was told that summer was now over, and it was fall. A few days later he and some others went to the beach, which was deserted except for a few fully clothed people (including high heals in the sand) walking along the beach. We were the only people in the water, or even with a shirt off. Because, although it would have been impossible to find a 6 foot piece of beach to yourself four days earlier, summer was now over, and only lunatics go to the beach in the fall.
7. Mad about Cell phones. There are more cell phone subscriptions than there are people over the age of 9 in this country. I saw one gal today on the subway with two brand new phones. And they're playing with them constantly. When I take a cell phone away from a student in class, it’s like I just removed one of their limbs. When the plane landed and the pilot said that people can turn their phones back on, everyone was on the phone. Before I got my cell phone, I'd meet people and they'd want my number, at which time I would have to explain I didn't have one. Treat yourself to telling a Korean that you don't have a cell phone. What happens next is nothing short of hilarious.
8. The Land of the Morning Calm. Nothing is open until about 10 or so in the morning, which makes breakfast quite difficult. Breakfast is also difficult due to the fact that Koreans don't eat the same type of breakfast us Canadians eat. They eat the same type of food at each meal. So things are incredibly spicy at every meal. The food is delicious though. But the coffee is terrible. There's no Timmy's.
9. There is no crime here. Once I saw a delivery guy get hit by a car and someone picked his food and ran off with it. But no one said anything to him about it. That's because he was delivering the food for his fallen comrade. In the market districts, when its time to close up, they simply pull a tarp down over their booth and leave. Their merchandise is unguarded; because they know no one will steal anything and it's less work that moving everything. It's a very good thing, but it's quite penoptical.
10. FANDEATH. There are many scientific discrepancies between here and the west. For example... People here won't drink anything when they eat, since it dilutes their stomach acids and prevents them from digesting their food. Names cannot be written in red or that person will die. When I got here I noticed that my fan had a timer on it, and then that ALL fans had timers on them. Why you ask? It is a "scientific fact" that a fan left on in a room with the windows and doors closed will kill the occupants of the room by hypothermia or lack of oxygen. How they figure that a fan blowing air around actually cools the air, or takes the friggin oxygen out of the room I don’t know, but several cases of fandeath are always reported on the news, and confirmed by scientists. They don’t seem to know or care that this lethal killer strikes absolutely nowhere but Korea. Many arguments have occurred between the Koreans and foreigners about this, with one side telling the story about their roommate who passed out in a snow bank in his boxers in college, and didn’t succumb to hypothermia, and the other talking about their sister's boyfriend's mother's friend's father, who happened to pass away with a fan running the room, confirming that the dreaded FANDEATH is real. BE VERY AFRAID!!!!
Many things do not apply in Korea. But a lot of stuff is similar. You should not fry bacon, or Vienna sausage, without a shirt on. And Koreans would much prefer the sausage. Green still means go, red means stop... Though there's a weird green/red combination light that also means stop. But drivers don't worry about traffic lights anyhow. Bus drivers and taxi drivers run reds like it’s their job.
All in all, it is a very cool place to be. There's fun around every corner. More and more foreigners are coming here every year making things easier and easier for the city's English speaking population. It's a great way to learn a new culture and make some easy bankroll after graduating.
Jonathan Grady
http://rubbernecker-in-soko.blogspot.com/
Thinking about working overseas?
When I graduated last year, it seems like my fellow grads were doing one of four things: a) getting a job; b) going back to school; c) traveling; or d) nothing. I would recommend staying away from the latter, but the first three seem quite popular and productive.
I, being the adventurous type, decided traveling was the best option. Money and school can wait. Likely choices for traveling were backpacking through Europe, driving across America, humanitarianism in Africa, or setting up shop in Australia or New Zealand. And then there’s also the choice of combining traveling and getting a job in another option that is becoming more and more popular: teaching overseas.
There are many non-English speaking countries with ESL (English as a Second Language) schools looking to hire Canadian graduates at just about any month of the year. Considering the cost of living in many of these countries, the pay is quite good. When choosing a country, it really depends on what you’re looking for: South Korea pays much better than the other countries in the region, but Thailand is tropical. There’s also many countries in between that provide a myriad of cultural opportunities. Perhaps you are completely intrigued by the Chinese culture, for instance. Then the best place to find a job would obviously be China. The best place to find job postings, information, and links to such jobs is Dave’s ESL Café, which is updated regularly (www.eslcafe.com).
I picked South Korea. The extra money pays the bills that come with a student loan and its somewhere I’ve always wanted to visit since my grandfather took part in the Korean War.
Finding a job
There are many things to consider when looking for a job overseas, whatever it may be. Labor laws are different everywhere in the world and you are used to the ones in North America. Therefore, DO YOUR RESEARCH. Whenever you decide you want to leave the country for an extended period of time, there will be horror story after horror story coming your way from every relative and friend who knows someone from somewhere who’s done the same thing you want to do and got burned. When it was my time, all of a sudden everyone I knew was an overnight expert on everything there was to know about teaching English in Korea, and knew a ton of people who were either in Korean jail or miserable in a faraway place or whatever. And no doubt, these stories are all true. There are many foreigners in Korean jail and many people who come here and have a terrible time. They are the ones who did not research what they were getting themselves into. Do not accept a job on a whim in a foreign country.
Korea is pushing really hard to become westernized, and so laws here are actually quite similar to the West, The major differences are in customs though. This makes things a lot worse for Koreans working in Korea than for Westerners working in Korea, as wayguks (“foreigners” in Korean) are not expected to know these customs and do not comply to the ones we do not wish to comply to. However, these customs are quite apparent and fairly harsh. For example, for a Korean, your boss owns you. You are his property and you will do whatever it is he tells you. Until he is no longer you boss, anything you create belongs to him. Most bosses are quite lenient with this practice, especially the ones hiring foreigners, but it does exist. There’s also some pleasant customs. For example, it is expected that a boss takes his staff out for dinner and drinks around once a month. As you may have already assumed, I do not comply with the first of these customs, but comply unreservedly with the second. Gambae! (“Cheers!” in Korean).
Be sure to tinker with your C.V. when applying to a teaching job overseas. Break the standard format and go into paragraphed detail if you have any experience working with children or with teaching. Korean employers may have reservations about your time with children otherwise, so highlight your experience.
You also have to send a photo. This may seem a little strange, but it’s a standard practice with ESL jobs. Koreans take appearance much more serious than Canadians do, so send a nice photo, like your grad photo. Don’t send the photo of you shot-gunning in your Halloween costume on Braemore St.
When you get to the phone interview, be as jovial as possible. Almost every student will have a Korean teacher who speaks a bit of English who is handing out assignment after assignment. Schools hire foreign teachers to be fun with the kids. Having foreign teachers on staff makes the schools appear more respectable in the eyes of parents when choosing a school. Your employer wants you to make learning English fun so the students stay at the school, rather than going somewhere else. So if you appear to be a person who won’t have fun with the kids, you won’t get the job.
You will also need to show a high interest level. You should be asking questions about all parts of life in the country, as you will be uprooting. Ask about your living quarters, distance to work, about your coworkers, size of the school, age of children, wages, proximity to subway/major city, etc. You will likely be interviewed by a Korean, so try to talk to a foreign teacher who is not responsible for hiring you after the interview part. This way you can speak to someone without any language problems and speak in a down-to-earth manner about the place.
The most important advice I can give about finding an overseas job: don’t trust anybody. If something seems off, back away from the deal. Koreans feel uncomfortable talking about business. They want to get it out of the way as soon as possible. So they want you to sign right away. The schools in Korea that hire Canadians right out of university, ninety-nine percent of the time, are private schools, and their first intension is making money, education is second. For the most part, the schools treat foreigners very well, but are still very different than dealing with a school that puts education first. The schools in Korea that have education in mind first are the public schools that are free to attend, but the generally don’t hire foreigners with zero teaching experience.
There’s also the issue of recruiters. These folks are usually of the scum-of-the-earth variety who will do anything to make a buck. They are not taking your interests to heart. There are a few goods one out there though. Try and find a Canadian recruiter, perhaps even my pal Kristopher: http://www.asia-pacific-connections.com. He’s a trustworthy guy in a line of work that doesn’t have many of them. Despite their nature, recruiters are the ones who will get you job interviews though, so you be nice to them. There’s also the possibility of applying directly to a school through a classifieds ad on Dave’s ESL Café that I mentioned earlier. I got my job by applying directly and it worked out great: no middle man.
Life in Korea:
Information is available all over the place about Korea. Check out Wikipedia or one of the websites above to find out things about climate, food, history, and such. I’ll try and tell you stuff these websites won’t tell you though.
Korea is cheap, cheap, cheap! The cost of living is ridiculously low compared to home. For example, I eat out almost every meal because it costs the same as making your own food at home. Some of my coworkers go shopping seemingly every weekend and come home with a new wardrobe of clothes. A bottle of Soju (Korean liquor, which is a lot like moonshine, but not as strong) costs less than $2 at corner stores, and you can also buy these in bulk to save money if that price is too high for you. And things like this are the same price everywhere in Korea. Prices are standardized. There’s also no sales tax.
There are incredible shopping districts in Seoul. Huge underground malls that stretch farther than you can imagine, titanic outdoor markets selling everything you could ever dream of, from illegal DVDs to dogs to produce to knick knacks and everything else in between. It’s a lot of fun just walking around looking at these types of things because they seem so strange to me and other foreigners but just so natural to Koreans.
This country is a real mindjob. Many, many strangely curious things go on right in front of you all the time. Here’s just a few:
1. "Video killed the radio/outdoor/athletic star".... Video/Computer games rule all here. They have computer rooms here every block or so, which is like a school computer lab on steroids, and is designed specifically to play games. After consulting with classes, my suspicions were confirmed that they spend every minute of their free time here. This is a way of life over here. There are 3 channels on normal cable dedicated to 24 hour coverage of video game tournaments and leagues. The really good gamers are celebrities here, with their own magazine covers and security details.
2. Made to order doesn’t exist. If you order a meal without something, or want something added, you will deal with the most dumbfounded looks you've ever seen. It is actually impossible to get any ingredient or garnish removed or added to a dish. The simple task of not putting it in as you make it cannot be explained regardless of what language you use.
3. Money and age. A middle aged business man that bumps you out of the way as he steps in line to pay for his butter probably didn't even see you. If you’re not rich or old he gets to go first. There are numerous extra tenses in the Korean language geared around talking to people in a different notch of the social hierarchy. An older man will toss a younger police officer to the ground for being disrespectful, and there isn't really anything the cop will do. I've seen it. If two young friends are a few months apart in age, the older person decides what they will do, what they will eat, who can say what, and pretty much runs the whole show. The young person also has to speak with special polite words and gestures.
4. Clothing. Korean women are out of their minds. Its -6 outside right now, and the girls around me are all wearing huge winter coats, hats, mitts, boots, and a tiny mini skirt..... Also, the skirts are about the size of your average piece of kleenex, and don’t exactly cover the important stuff, but to show your shoulders or upper back in public is blasphemy.
5. Gender roles and marriage. Women are extremely subservient here. As late as the 70's it was still arranged marriages. The man was the sole provider and the woman was the housewife and servant. There was very little marital crossover between the social classes, since the marriage was decided in childhood by the parents. This is still unofficially the way it works here. Many matches are made through business partners or the like, and one of the early questions a Korean girl will ask is what your father does. If you're not married, you're living at home and disgracing your family by not being married. My coworkers are mostly around age 30. The unmarried ones live at home, and usually have 12 oclock curfews.
6. Seasons. At midnight on September 23, summer is over, and fall begins. A friend of mine walked out of his apartment one day in September to a 30 degree breeze in a T-shirt. He quickly noticed that everyone was wearing sweaters and pants. He got to work and found the same was true with the kids and teachers. He was told that summer was now over, and it was fall. A few days later he and some others went to the beach, which was deserted except for a few fully clothed people (including high heals in the sand) walking along the beach. We were the only people in the water, or even with a shirt off. Because, although it would have been impossible to find a 6 foot piece of beach to yourself four days earlier, summer was now over, and only lunatics go to the beach in the fall.
7. Mad about Cell phones. There are more cell phone subscriptions than there are people over the age of 9 in this country. I saw one gal today on the subway with two brand new phones. And they're playing with them constantly. When I take a cell phone away from a student in class, it’s like I just removed one of their limbs. When the plane landed and the pilot said that people can turn their phones back on, everyone was on the phone. Before I got my cell phone, I'd meet people and they'd want my number, at which time I would have to explain I didn't have one. Treat yourself to telling a Korean that you don't have a cell phone. What happens next is nothing short of hilarious.
8. The Land of the Morning Calm. Nothing is open until about 10 or so in the morning, which makes breakfast quite difficult. Breakfast is also difficult due to the fact that Koreans don't eat the same type of breakfast us Canadians eat. They eat the same type of food at each meal. So things are incredibly spicy at every meal. The food is delicious though. But the coffee is terrible. There's no Timmy's.
9. There is no crime here. Once I saw a delivery guy get hit by a car and someone picked his food and ran off with it. But no one said anything to him about it. That's because he was delivering the food for his fallen comrade. In the market districts, when its time to close up, they simply pull a tarp down over their booth and leave. Their merchandise is unguarded; because they know no one will steal anything and it's less work that moving everything. It's a very good thing, but it's quite penoptical.
10. FANDEATH. There are many scientific discrepancies between here and the west. For example... People here won't drink anything when they eat, since it dilutes their stomach acids and prevents them from digesting their food. Names cannot be written in red or that person will die. When I got here I noticed that my fan had a timer on it, and then that ALL fans had timers on them. Why you ask? It is a "scientific fact" that a fan left on in a room with the windows and doors closed will kill the occupants of the room by hypothermia or lack of oxygen. How they figure that a fan blowing air around actually cools the air, or takes the friggin oxygen out of the room I don’t know, but several cases of fandeath are always reported on the news, and confirmed by scientists. They don’t seem to know or care that this lethal killer strikes absolutely nowhere but Korea. Many arguments have occurred between the Koreans and foreigners about this, with one side telling the story about their roommate who passed out in a snow bank in his boxers in college, and didn’t succumb to hypothermia, and the other talking about their sister's boyfriend's mother's friend's father, who happened to pass away with a fan running the room, confirming that the dreaded FANDEATH is real. BE VERY AFRAID!!!!
Many things do not apply in Korea. But a lot of stuff is similar. You should not fry bacon, or Vienna sausage, without a shirt on. And Koreans would much prefer the sausage. Green still means go, red means stop... Though there's a weird green/red combination light that also means stop. But drivers don't worry about traffic lights anyhow. Bus drivers and taxi drivers run reds like it’s their job.
All in all, it is a very cool place to be. There's fun around every corner. More and more foreigners are coming here every year making things easier and easier for the city's English speaking population. It's a great way to learn a new culture and make some easy bankroll after graduating.
Jonathan Grady
http://rubbernecker-in-soko.blogspot.com/
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